Hey Daddy
What Doing?
UNGH! Jeffy what is thet
Wha- JEFFY
UNGH!
UUUUUNGH
Wha what is that?
It's a voice changer, Daddy
See? Watch.
UUUUUUNGH
Hey Daddy.
I stuck my finger in my butt
Oh, you don't know who's talking now, who am I, Daddy? UNGH!
Jeffy just put that up it's annoying
HEY!
Daddy why'd you take my toy?
Anyway Jeffy it's time for you to go to bed.
Aww
Daddy I don't wanna go to bed yet!
Well it's Bedtime, come on.
Well okay Jeffy, ready to go to bed?
What's it look like, daddy?
I'm hoppin my ass off
JEFFY I TOLD YOU YOU CAN'T LISTEN TO HOP HOP BEFORE BED!
Well FUCK you, Daddy!
Jeffy! You know what? GO TO BED JEFFY!
GOODNIGHT JEFFY!
Daddy i wish you would disappear so i could do whatever I want!
Well Jeffy I'm not going anywhere so GOODNIGHT. Go to bed.
Finally. Jeffy's in bed, now i have the whole night all to my self.
Im just gonna sit back and relax!
(IPHONE)
My Grandpa?
Why is he calling me?
Uh hello?
H-Hello? URGH, stupid calculator, can you hear me?
Murphy?
No not Murphy, it's Mario.
Uh Montiego?
Uh Yeah, sure Grandpa what do you need/
Look Danny, my TV's not working.
Your TV's not working?
Uh no, no, I pushed all the buttons and it ain't coming on.
Well did you press the on button?
Hold on.
OH, yep there it goes!
wait now it's just making loud noises and there's no picture, just macaroni.
Grandpa, that sounds like a microwave.
IT AIN'T NO GODDAMN MICROWAVE! I KNOW WHAT A MICROWAVE LOOKS LIKE!
JUST GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND HELP ME!
Okay fine Grandpa, I'll come over and I'll help you with the TV.
Okay what do I do?
Do I go over there and bring Jeffy?
Maybe Jeffy's asleep.
Is he sleeping?
Okay, Jeffy's asleep.
I don't have to wake him up cause if i wake him up he won't go back to sleep.
Okay i'll just be gone for 10 minutes
Nothing bad can happen in 10 minutes
Alright I'll be right back.
Uh oh! Someone pooped my pants!
DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!
So daddy the craziest thing happened someone pooped my... Daddy?
Daddy where you go??
DADDY!
Where'd my daddy go? Did he disappear?
BEST SONG EVER PLAYS (Hop Hop)
Wait a minute!
Hello thank you for calling Long John's pizza
What can i DO you for today?
Can I get a large pepperoni Pizza?
W-Sir why do you sound like that?
UNGH
SIR SIR! I Can't understand you
I am your father
UH CMON MATE! WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!
WE HAVE TO DELIVER THE PACKAGE TO THE BOSS!
Im just gonna deliver this one pizza
then were gonna go drop off the cash to the boss
URGH come on, is bloody pizza really that important?
The customer is ALWAYS IMPORTANT, SIMMINS!
Hurry up.
My pizza's here!
Hello?
Hey there little boy, are your parents home?
Nope, Im all by myself, I'm HOME ALONE cause im a big boy
OH, so i guess you ordered this pizza?
No, the ROBOT did!
Yeah. Yeah. The Robot.
Well the robot owes me about 10 dollars plus tip.
Oh yeah, my hands are full, just put it in my mouth.
Really?
That's 10 dollars, but what about that tip?
ASSHOLE!
I cant wait to eat my pizza
Wait a minute...
THIS ISN'T PIZZA!
What's wrong, mate?
That little bastard didn't tip me!!
NO TIP? What an asshole.
Yeah, whatever.
Anyway, the boss wants a picture of the money
He wants to see it.
Alright, well show it to him.
OH MY GOD, SIMMINS!
What's wrong?
The money, it's GONE!
I know, it's a pizza!
I KNOW IT'S A PIZZA SIMMINS!
What are you doing?
Im taking a picture for the boss. You're angry!
DON'T SEND THAT TO THE BOSS!
Too late.
Oh my god, Simmins.
I guess I grabbed the wrong box.
I'VE DELIVERED THE CASH TO THAT KID!
Well what are we going to do now, mate?
Okay, Simmins. You wait here im gonna try to get it back.
C'mon kid, answer
What do you want?
Oh hey there, champ! So uh, that pizza I just gave you was the wrong pizza.
And I have your pizza here, so I was just thinking we could trade.
Oh, I have an even better idea!
What's that?
How about you go FUCK YOURSELF!
You listen here, you little bastard, i'm gonna get that money!
He wouldn't gimme the money back!
HE WOULDN'T GIVE YOU THE MONEY BACK?
THE BOSS IS GONNA KILL US!
No he's not, Simmins, cause I have a plan.
We're gonna break into that kids house, cause he's HOME ALONE, and we're gonna get that money!
Time to get our ski masks, mate!
Didn't get my pizza, I'm going to bed!
MAYONNAISE!
BOOBIES!
Alright Simmins, we're gonna break inside this house!
How are we going to do that, mate?
Let's try the door.
Uh, mate, it's locked.
Oh, gee! you think so?
Oh my god Simmins thank you so much for telling me,
Cause I never would have figured out that kind of thing
Cause it wasn't opening I'm just an idiot so I never would have guessed that it could be LOCKED!
Well, you don't have to be rude, mate.
How are we going to get inside this house, Simmins?
What's it look like, daddy?
Under the mat?
Nobody does that anymore.
Oh. W-wow.
They ACTUALLY left a key!
I TOLD you mate.
Alright, Simmins, let's look for that money. It should be in a pizza box.
Alright, mate.
NO
uhhh... not there!
NO!
Come on!
WHERE IS IT?!?!
Simmins, have you found it yet?
No mate, have you?
Now, Simmins, why would I be asking you if you found it, if I had found it?
Maybe I'd already found it and just wanted to see if you'd lie to me?
DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE? NO OF COURSE I DIDN'T FIND IT SIMMINS!
JEEZ, mate you're being really rude tonight!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, ok?
It's just the boss is gonna be really really pissed when he finds out we lost his money!
Do you think we should call him and let him know what happened?
Yeah, I mean, he's gonna be really mad, but yeah. Yeah I'll call him.
Simmins, I'm really nervous.
Don't be nervous, mate. He'll understand. Just let me do all the talking.
Hello?
Uh, boss? We got some bad news.
BAD NEWS!?! I DON'T LIKE BAD NEWS! WHAT'S UP?
Well, you know that $100,000 you put in a pizza box?
Yeah. Y- YOU BETTER NOT HAVE LOST MY ONE HUNDRED GRAND!
Um no we didn't lose it at all!
YES WE DID! Look, I'm sorry ok, this is what happened.
We had the money in a pizza box, and I was delivering a pizza,
and I accidentally delivered the money instead.
And he didn't even TIP!
YOU IDIOTS LOST MY ONE $100,000!!
YOU BETTER GET IT BACK! OR AT LEAST KIDNAP THE KID SO WE CAN HOLD HIM FOR RANSOM!
Ok ok ok, yes yes we will do that boss, thank you!
Ok Simmins, lets-
I didn't even get to say bye.
I know.
Let's go kidnap the kid.
Alright Simmins, we gotta find this kid, where is he?
I dunno mate, but what are these bowling pins doing here?
Bowling pins wha-? Oh yeah, those are bowling pins! What ARE they doing here?
Gobledeegook from Drawing Jeffy
There's the kid, Simmins! Let's get him!
More random noises
RUN SIMMINS, RUN!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOD, SIMMINS ARE YOU OKAY?
Of course you're not okay, you got crushed by a bowling ball!
We should've known when we saw the pins!
Is- is that mayonaisse?
MAYONAISSE!
I'M GONNA GET YOU, KID!
RANDOM NOISES
COME HERE, KID!
YOU KILLED MY PARTNER, YOU BASTARD!
ALRIGHT KID I'M GONNA GIVE YOU ONE CHANCE
WHERE'S THE MONEY?
I DON'T KNOOOOOW
ALRIGHT THEN WE'RE GONNA HOLD YOU FOR RANSOM
OH MAN, that took so long.
Hope Jeffy's still asleep.
JEFFY!
WHAT- JEFFY!
Mario rambles
HUH! DADDY? YOU CAME BACK?
MORE RAMBLING
What did I do?
EVEN MORE RAMBLING!
Why you so mad, Daddy?
I thought you disappeared forever!
WHY IS THE HOUSE A MESS JEFFY? AND WHY IS THERE A DEAD GUY IN THE HOUSE?
What dead guy?
DON'T "WHAT DEAD GUY" ME JEFFY!
THERE'S A DEAD GUY IN THE HOUSE!
(IPHONE)
Who's this?
Hold on.
Hello?
Hey. I bet you're wondering where you're kid is.
Wait, wait, what?
YEAH WE GOT YOUR KID, WE'RE HOLDING HIM FOR RANSOM.
WE'RE NOT GONNA GIVE HIM BACK UNLESS YOU GIVE US $100,000
Wait... You got my kid?
Yeah, you wanna talk to him? Here, talk to your dad.
DRAWING JEFFY MAKES NOISE
So if you ever wanna hear that again, you better give us our money!
B-But-
NO BUTS! YOU GONNA GIVE US THE MONEY OR NOT?
Uh, n-no.
W-N-NO?
REALLY?
Uh yeah, uh no I don't do that.
Wait, uh, hang on I think I got the wrong number.
Did you order a pizza earlier?
Did I order a pizza? No.
O-Oh, yeah my bad, sorry, wrong number.
Ok.
ANYWAY JEFFY, THE DEAD GUY IN THE HOUSE-
Hold on Daddy. Did you see the bathtub?
Bathtub?
Captions done by thatonedude, please subscribe to my channel!